November 24, 2016

Cheaply Built Overpriced Rabbit Hutches!

Note: some of the following articles are intended for humor. It’s up to the reader to decide which. The Waco Tribune in Texas. “The city of Waco issued 130 permits to build single-family homes during the months of July, August and September, which is twice the 61 issued during the same three months last year. The city has issued 316 permits so far this year, up from 285 at this time last year. Scott Bland, president of the Heart of Texas Builders Association, said national companies, including D.R. Horton and Stylecraft Builders, have entered the Central Texas market with a vengeance, buying the lion’s share of lots available and launching large subdivisions. ‘I’ve never seen anything like this in Waco,’ Bland said of the housing picture.”

“The ‘Fixer Upper’ show on HGTV, starring Chip and Joanna Gaines, has created interest in Waco real estate, brings 35,000 tourists a week to Magnolia Market at the Silos and has prompted the chamber and downtown development groups to consider how best to take advantage of this national interest. John George, president of Award Specialties, said revenues are growing at 8 percent annually, which is typical during stellar economic times. ‘But what I’m wondering is why Waco’s economy is doing so well. Does anybody have an answer to that?’ George said.”

The California Aggie. “A police search for a potentially armed clown turned up empty late Sunday as investigators determined the only clowns to be found in West Village were the ones paying for its overpriced amenities. Officials said there is no longer the threat of a knife-wielding circus performer, but only the threat of overpriced housing and expensive grocery stores. ‘The urge to live in West Village is ridiculous to me,’ said deputy of the Davis Police Department Paul Whitney. ‘There are plenty of other housing options in North and West Davis for almost half the cost!’”

From SBS in Australia. “I’ve had just about enough of all this bloody nonsense from the young people. The youth of today have all grown soft, doughy and are always covered in sugar. No wait, that’s my delicious morning doughnut, but the sentiment still applies. Young people today are all entitled, unlike my generation who will hunt down and murder anyone who tries to make any changes to our pension or superannuation entitlements. Young adults need to learn about personal responsibility. The worst example of this is when these people trot off to buy a home. They have this bizarre expectation that the first house they buy should come with all these fancy trinkets, like not being entirely covered with mould, or having four walls, or not being a pile of rats that is house sized.”

“Back in my day, when you purchased your first home you had to be prepared to take what you can get. Clearly the only place that satisfies that criteria is the sewage system of Australia’s great cities and it’s time Australia’s young people realise that. So I put together this detailed list of why you, a potential first-home buyer, should consider living going down under, down under.”

“If you’re thinking about paying $800 a week to live in a garbage bin in the middle of Sydney then you need to get your bloody head checked. A garbage bin in Sydney goes for, at most, $250 a week. Living in the sewers, though? That costs absolutely nothing, but as I’m someone who is the landlord to properties across Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane, I’ll let you live down there for a mere $100 a week. Trust me, that’s a bloody bargain for any one of those cities. Water bills are covered, however I cannot guarantee it is clean or entirely free of faecal matter. Parking is also free and if you can manage to do it, I will be very impressed. Internet connection is surprisingly good. You just have to plug into one of the many unfinished NBN nodes. Sure this deal might sound shonky to some, but if you’re worried just ask people who have lived or are living shared housing. I guarantee this deal is around the average.”

“Living in the sewers offers a young adult a wide range of opinions and wild animal fighting learning opportunities. Get off your bloody high horse and give it a go. Sure, not everyone can handle a python fight in the shallow waters of our sewers, but the ones that do might just be able to survive attending auctions in one of Australia’s major cities every Saturday for the rest of their lives.”

The Hartlepool Mail in the UK. “Hartlepool Borough Council’s proposed new Local Plan received differing views on the issue of building new homes. The council believes it needs to secure developments totalling 6,000 new homes during the course of the 15-year Local Plan, around 400 a year. The future of Hartlepool’s housing need has sparked debate with readers sharing mixed views on the subject.”

“David Frank commented: ‘A lot of run down houses need an upgrade and bringing back to life, should start with them first.’ Diane Orley said: ‘There is a lot but who can afford them??? Minimum wage can’t, my house is in need of upgrade, rent very expensive all my wages just keep going, everyone seems be the same now.’”

“David Wheelhouse said: ‘I would say far too many, but if they can sell them maybe not. The more you build further and further into the suburbs of the town this creates a town centre slum as people move out.’”

“Andy Draper posted: ‘Too many developments without the correct road infrastructure. Cheaply built overpriced rabbit hutches!’”

“Jonathan Tones said: ‘A housing developer would not spend millions of pounds building houses that won’t sell so I’m pretty sure there’s a high demand for them.’ Tom Kelly said: ‘The council want council tax, every new property is a new tax payer? Now you can see why they wave everything through.’”