This Was A Sure Winner
The Cheiftain reports from Colorado. “A former real estate appraiser has agreed to help federal authorities in an ongoing investigation of large-scale residential real estate fraud in Pueblo. James L. Esters, of Osage Beach, Mo., who previously lived in Parker, near Denver, is obligated to cooperate with authorities as part of a deal in which he pleaded guilty Friday to lying to federal agents. The investigation involves allegedly inflated real estate appraisals and allegedly phony mortgage applications in 2004.”
“Two other men also are accused of using appraisals and applications to defraud lending companies of about $1 million in 22 real estate transactions involving Pueblo houses. Esters’ written agreement states he ‘had altered a number of these appraisals to falsely indicate that his supervisor had approved them.’ One of the men, former Pueblo resident Danny DeGrande, has been a fugitive ever since his federal indictment in June. Authorities believe they’ve ‘identified a foreign country in which DeGrande is currently located (but) his exact whereabouts are unknown,’ Assistant U.S. Attorney Matthew Kirsch said in a court filing.”
From KTAR in Arizona. “Arizona’s housing market is not in recovery mode, according to a new Arizona State University report. Real Estate Professor Jay Butler said the report shows more than two-thirds of the housing market is being driven by home foreclosures and sales of foreclosed homes. The median home price still is very low, at $140,000. That was about $40,000 below what it was in September 2008.”
“‘It’s not in a free-fall any more, but for many households, it may be a while before they get to the value of what they paid for their home,’ Butler said.”
The Phoenix News Times in Arizona. “The lofty Centerpoint Condominium towers broke ground in 2005 and were supposed to give downtown Tempe its own slice of Manhattan. Four years later, they’ve delivered just that — except the slice resembles something out of the film Escape from New York. Not so long ago, condominium agents were taking prospective residents into the towers to pitch the units. Prices started at about $300,000 and soared to more than a million for the spacious penthouses. The lowest-priced units were just 600 square feet or less. Nowadays, a different kind of visitor is enjoying the scenic vista. People like . . . We’ll call him Dave.”
“On a warm evening in May, head buzzing from numerous rounds of alcohol consumed while barhopping on Mill Avenue, the young man prepared to relieve himself from the roof of the tallest building in the East Valley. To fulfill his ill-considered plan, he realized he’d need the help of two friends — and they agreed to hold his arms tightly while he hung his butt over the side of the low, concrete wall.”
“‘We were pretty drunk,’ says Dave.”
“The Valley’s condo market has tanked, along with the rest of the state’s economy. A project similar to Centerpoint, though smaller, opened last year in downtown Phoenix. The 44 Monroe condo tower is 34 stories with an eighth-floor pool and spa. As of late August, a reported 10 of the 196 units had been sold.”
“David Hansen has no faith that he’ll see more than a fraction of his original investment. A retired school principal and real estate dabbler from Nevada, Hansen wrote checks for 10 years to Radical Bunny, which in recent years put most of his money — about $1.4 million from his pension plan, personal savings, and 401(k) — into the condo towers.”
“He recalls a dinner at the Orange Table in Scottsdale a few years ago for investors in Radical Bunny (now also in bankruptcy), when advisers at the company touted the Centerpoint project. ‘They showed the new rail line was going right there in Tempe [and] said it was prime property because Tempe was landlocked,’ he says. ‘They were saying this was a sure winner.’”
“Hansen says bitterly, ‘If they only get 50 cents on the dollar, we’ll be wiped out.’”
“Why did he put his money into Radical Bunny? Easy, he says; it promised a solid 11 percent interest, while most everyone else offered 6 or 7 percent. ‘Hundreds’ of people took out second mortgages on their homes and plunked money into Radical Bunny. Many will likely lose those homes, he predicts.”
The Yuma Sun in Arizona. “Arizona’s jobless rate remained virtually unchanged for the second month in a row. The same can’t be said for Yuma County, where the unemployment rate rose to 20.7 percent for September, according to the latest report. John Morales, executive director of Yuma Private Industry Council, said he fears Yuma County hasn’t seen the bottom yet. Morales said he’s heard three things are slowing down the economic recovery: the number of jobless, people not spending money because they’re worried about losing their job and the real estate market slump.”
“‘The scary part,’ he said, ‘is that we’re hoping there will be some pick-up of hiring for the holidays. But we’re just not sure people will be spending.’”
“Lisa Danka, an assistant deputy director of the Department of Commerce, said Thursday the 10,600 jobs added in September over the prior month is the weakest gain for this time of year seen in two decades. And when the anticipated seasonal increase in employment of staff at public schools is factored out, the rest of the economy actually was weaker.”
“Construction employment shed another 900 jobs in September, bringing the year-over-year losses to 45,800. And that sector of the economy is operating at only 55 percent of what it was at its peak in June 2006. The weakness is showing up elsewhere. While the number of people working in public schools is up from August, as would be expected this time of year, there are still 5,700 fewer people with jobs in that sector of the economy. Danka said the overall state economy is a factor here, too.”
“She said people continue to be thrown out of their homes as they can’t keep up with the mortgage payments. ‘People are no longer in those houses,’ Danka said. ‘Therefore, children are no longer in those schools.”’
The Las Vegas Sun In Nevada. “As developers of the bankrupt Fontainebleau Las Vegas resort attempt to sell the unfinished project, the company continues to trim its staff and most recently revealed the departure of its top local executive. Audrey Oswel is among seven executives who have seen their employment contracts terminated since May 15, Fontainebleau said in court papers Thursday.”
“Fontainebleau, which has been working to sell the 70-percent-finished resort to Penn National Gaming or another party, also filed a motion Thursday for approval to cancel contracts for numerous meetings and conventions scheduled at the resort for between May 2010 and October 2011. With the project in limbo, Fontainebleau said it’s unlikely it can accommodate those meetings.”
“Once billed as a $2.9 billion project, construction was halted on the resort on Las Vegas Boulevard this spring after B of A and other lenders halted funding due to cost overruns and other problems including a lack of condominium sales that would have covered substantial construction costs.”
“The eyes of Las Vegas are on the scheduled December opening of CityCenter and its 12,000 employees, but the debut isn’t expected to reverse the climbing unemployment rate, now at 13.4 percent, and economists predict there will be little to cheer about in the region through the end of the year. The latest data from UNLV economist Keith Schwer show no sign the recession is ending here.”
“This recession proves that Las Vegas’ tourism and growth-based economy isn’t insulated from the national business cycle, he said. ‘We have gotten ourselves whipped into a frenzy that we were decoupled from the national economy, but it couldn’t be further from the truth,’ Schwer said. ‘Hopefully, we learned from this recession and won’t be dumb like that again.’”
“The recession has forced local businesses to cut the money they spend at Southern Nevada’s stop on the PGA Tour, but it hasn’t stopped them or the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority from entertaining clients. The tournament is offering lower-priced packages to make it more affordable for companies that want to entertain clients, but be more frugal, said Jan Leone, tournament director of sales. Last year the smallest package the tournament offered at its champion’s club tent was $10,000 for 10 people. This year the packages are as small as $2,500 for four people, but the food has changed from upscale buffet to barbecue and hot dogs.”
“‘Some companies don’t want to spend $10,000 on a private table,’ Leone said. ‘People don’t have as much to spend to this year.’”
The Las Vegas Business Press in Nevada. “The Nevada Supreme Court passed tougher rules to force lenders to work with homeowners in foreclosure, but some lenders are worried that they may be unfairly sanctioned. Mediators working with homeowners have the power to find that a lender acted ‘in bad faith’ during a mediation and to halt a foreclosure. The state high court passed its new rules on Sept. 28, in response to a request by state Assembly Speaker Barbara Buckley.”
“Nevada Bankers Association President Bill Uffelman was concerned about how mediators could apply the rule change. He worries that in a worst-case scenario, lenders may feel pressured into an agreement with homeowners even when the situation is unworkable. ‘I’m standing there with a baseball bat over your head, so as lender, what are you going to do?’ he said. ‘Sure (an agreement will be reached).’”
“Uffelman also argues that the bad-faith standard isn’t clear, unless it is only interpreted to mean failing to bring necessary documents to mediation or sending representatives who lack negotiating authority.”
“‘Without knowing what the bad faith standard is, it is hard to tell,’ he said. ‘If (a lender) has done all these things and the homeowner (still) doesn’t qualify, is that bad faith?’”
‘it may be a while before they get to the value of what they paid for their home,’ Butler said’
I’ll just let that one hang out there for a while.
The Phoenix News Times article is well done, as usual, and takes a swipe at the new urbanism myth the housing bubble conjured up. BTW, the Republic sent me an email about condo conversions prior to a story they did recently. I guess my reply didn’t go over too well as I never heard back.
Oh, what satisfying and delightful repast! Thanks, Ben.
The Phoenix news article was the shining centerpiece of today’s Schadenfreude All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.
(from the article)
The Centerpoint condo project was supposed to open its first tower in spring 2008, along with first-floor retail shops. The taller tower was to open a few months after that.
From the beginning, the project was designed to be over-the-top.
The initial plan called for four high-rises with 800 units. The project was later broken up into two phases, the first consisting of two towers and 375 units.
A 23,000-square-foot common area on a seventh-floor “backyard” connecting the towers was to feature a white-sand beach next to a pool, a kitchen with on-duty chef, a wine lounge, an “electronic lounge” with large-screen TVs and video games, a spa, a gym, and concierge services.
On the first floor, residents and the public would be treated to a gourmet grocery store with coffee drinks and gelato, a bakery, and other shops. A new Italian restaurant was to be built in partnership with one of the Valley’s top chefs, Michael de Maria. The Trattoria M was to be equipped with a “wine aficionado room” and private “chef’s table” room, plus a casual dining area.
Oooooh! Sounds ever so wonderful! What a great idea!
…The almost-completed 22- and 30-story buildings at Sixth Street and Maple Avenue are dark, shiny hulks at night — tombstones for the Phoenix area’s devastated real estate market.
Without air-conditioning, the interiors roast at 190 degrees in the summer heat. And since construction stopped in July 2008, the towers have been a playground for drunken trespassers and transients…
Ooops. Or maybe not….
I watched those buildings go up almost from the time they broke ground, and wondered exactly where the market was for $500,000 1200sf two bedroom condos. They DO have a great view—I’ll give them that—but otherwise they appear to be perfectly ordinary apartments. And Mill Avenue isn’t exactly a place very many people, outside of college students, would want to live. I used to go down there a fair amount (even though my college student days were 30 years ago) because there were a couple of good bookstores and a little movie theatre that showed offbeat films, but the bookstores are now gone (the movie theatre, thankfully, isn’t), so that mostly leaves drunk college students puking in the gutters every night and a smattering of homeless people. In any case, fun as it is to go down there once in a while, I can’t imagine wanting to live there (certainly not for half a million bucks). Those developers were selling a fantasy lifestyle that can only be lived by those with real money, not a bunch of schlubs buying up condos with their second mortgages (sorry, I mean “tapped equity” of course) or investor wannabes with stated income loans.
Makes me wonder what the vancancy rates are in the super expensive condos that actually got finished around the tempe town lake. Seems like the oversaturated puddle-side condo market is flooded…
In either a clear-headed inspiration or a drunken stupor I stumbled upon the web site of Ahwatukee Foothills news. It has a very good RE search engine. The only one I know that allows you to screen for lofts in Phoenix metro.
Three years ago I read Optima Biltmore lofts cut their one bedroom rinky-dink units from $900,000″ to $450,000. Today on the AFN website I found at least one one-bedroom loft there for under $225,000. Also one loft over 2,000 sq ft on 13th floor for around $750k. 24th & Camelback. Donovan’s, Ruth’s Chris, and similar in the neighborhood.
In my younger days one of my girlfriends admitted to me she dropped out of ASU. She partied too much there. Pubs too close to the classes! She was a good gal though and had very nice parents. Partying can get the best of us. Ask my drunken young manager - eventually he will get a DUI.
I’ve been to a handful of SCADA related conferences at the Tempe Mission Palms hotel there on fifth across from the Hooters bar. The Centerpoint condo tower complex is indeed huge, a looming project. I too was surprised at the ASU campus spilling out on main street near bars and tattoo parlors; glad I went to Cal Poly, SLO.
If it was left to us lawyers, there would be no skyscrapers because we’re realists and pessimists.
Makes me proud to be a lawyer.
Plus you have a bunch of guns and obese orange kitties!
Man, that’s the life of an enlightened man, huh?
the young man prepared to relieve himself from the roof of the tallest building in the East Valley. To fulfill his ill-considered plan, he realized he’d need the help of two friends — and they agreed to hold his arms tightly while he hung his butt over the side of the low, concrete wall.”
“‘We were pretty drunk,’ says Dave.”
Or you could let this one hang out for awhile!
Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty. Well, shake something.
Drinking at a disco ain’t good. At least you can hear groovy songs.
the new urbanism myth the housing bubble conjured up.
This is one thing I really don’t understand. Among GenX/GenY youths, there is this proclaimed love of urban living. And they want to spread this to places that have never really had urban living before. My nephew bought a high-rise condo in downtown Seattle at the peak of the bubble - he says he hates surburbia. He wants to walk to bars and nightclubs every day. He’s 42 years old - isn’t that a little too old for the pick-up-bar scene?
I can’t afford to visit him since he has no parking for my car and it would cost me $50 a day to park my car in a garage in his neighborhood. And it’s not like I could take “public transit” from Boise to Seattle.
If you want to live in an urban desert full of ugly skyscrapers, where the sun never shines on the sidewalk, why not move to places like NY, Chicago, or Philly? Why pump and agitate for high rises in what should be rural areas?
New Urbanism doesn’t require high rise monoliths to achieve better use of space that’s less dependent on the automobile. It also isn’t just for drunken college students and young people. People make these assumptions.
I realize there are several variations on the theme. But during the HB boom years, it didn’t really matter; it was all about selling lofts and other “mixed use” dwellings. Some may be converted from old warehouses, etc. It was often “edgy” parts of town that had been passed over in earlier waves of the boom. This is one reason that in places like Dallas and Austin, I have long been of the opinion that the only people who would want to live there were barflies, and I still feel that way. It doesn’t make a lot of sense otherwise. And people grow out of this phase, which is partly why I felt these projects were doomed.
Look in just about every city in the US and you can find these things; LA, Atlanta, Chicago, little burgs in Washington or Oregon. One of my favorite posts was on some in Waco Texas.
You may be a NU advocate, but I have to tell you, the housing bubble set this concept back so far that I wonder if it will ever recover. There will be stories recounting these financial disasters long after we are dead, IMO.
the housing bubble set this concept back so far that I wonder if it will ever recover. There will be stories recounting these financial disasters long after we are dead, IMO.
Have to agree with you. Here in Sacramento, CA the downtown revival movement is petering out fast. Developers are still trying to unload WAY overpriced condos next to freight rail tracks and homeless camps. Poor schools in the area keep families away (among other things) making central city living a young and single persons game.
Maybe the bubble idea of Urbanism should never be allowed to recover. Why bring a concept to life if the execution turns out to be a narrow interpretation that only suits a small cross section of the population.
I like living in an old streetcar suburb just outside of Chicago. Kids walk to school; we walk to the ‘L’ trains and most of our daily shopping and entertainment needs can be filled by walking to the store, library, movie theater.
Jay, sounds like a great living arrangement. My guess is that works well in older cities to the east. Here in the west not so much. We do have a light rail system in Sacramento, but the car is still king.
needs can be filled by walking to the store, library, movie theater.
Was so much thinner living in nyc. Not so much now in ‘car land’. either to far, to hot, or motorcycle weekend to keep you from walking anywhere.
Hey DD:
No kidding we moved just 3 miles from Manhattan to Sunnyside queens, and I have off street parking when i need it.
So much easier to take the car to pathmark CVS etc on Northern Blvd. and park in their lot.
Living in Manhattan you have to walk even to do laundry, and you need to buy groceries more often ..even with 2 push carts they only hold so much., unless you pay a lot for them to deliver…..Plus all the stairs just to use the subways.
Well I do the bar scene at 50! Walking to pubs means he’s not driving from pubs. Here in L.A. I can walk to Benihana’s and similar restaurants in a cluster. One Sapporo and one cold saké mean I have to walk back. Drink responsibly.
One Sapporo and one cold saké mean I have to walk back.
I ride my Casino Cruiser™
In California if you ride a bicycle while intoxicated you are technically operating a vehicle under the influence and can be cited.
FYI, In CA I believe you can get a DUI for driving a bike drunk
I think in Flagstaff, it is required that one be stoned senseless to ride a bike downtown. (Just kidding Cassandra)
I’m never offended by the truth
In California if you ride a bicycle while intoxicated you are technically operating a vehicle under the influence and can be cited.
This is one of the many reasons I don’t live in suck-ass California.
I left that ditch in ‘83.
Additionally, I’m REALLY good at riding a bicycle.
I understand Bill, and I have long maintained that there is a market for these places, but it is not very deep and is better suited as rentals, not $500k tiny condos. I lived in Austin during the peak of the dotcom bubble and I rented a couple of miles from downtown in an established area. Years later, when I first heard of the condos being converted there I ran the numbers; I could have taken a cab downtown and back every day for just the interest.
Austin during the peak of the dotcom bubble
You know what annoyed me most during that period? The KUT (local NPR station) pledge drives pimping competitive dot-commer donations. All of a sudden those of us mundane workaday types who had been supporting public radio for years with our $35 or $60 or $120 or $200 dollar pledges were just so much chopped liver - it was all about how many who.com millionaires would match or raise bippo.com millionaires’ $10,000 pledges.
There were a lot of things from that time that turned out to be not-so-great. Some of the funkyness got lost for good, IMO. Give me the days when you could carry a Shiner on 6th street or the drag, and plenty of seats at the Hole in the Wall on Sunday afternoon, and before Halloween turned into a police convention.
Some of the funkyness got lost
Even more so by now. No more Liberty Lunch … for sure. But plenty of “faux funkiness” in service of attracting youthful “creatives” to a “vibrant urban scene.”
It’s not that there isn’t some nice spirit in Austin, it’s that it’s increasingly commodified by the REIC.
How can you have urban living in a place with no jobs and no mass transit? It’s kind of hard to spread it around.
The lack of well-paying jobs, or any jobs for that matter, is going to change the American way of life. Millions of jobs are gone forever.
The demise of the automobile as a mode of transportation is going to have ramifications, too. Many younger folks, and not so young folks, have absolutely no interest in cars. That is a new dynamic. I read that the other day.
I used to have a lot of interest in cars. That’s long gone. Very few cars are exciting today. There are a few exceptions like the Toyota Camry. And most Kia’s.
America is aging, so 42 may be the new 32. Pick-up-bars may have a place in our lives. Who knows? I was just to a pick-up-bar tonight.
When you go to a bar these days, you don’t have to have ask, “What do you do?” You know they’re unemployed or underemployed.
I’ve been to Seattle a few times. I never saw the sun shine on any sidewalk. No place. No skyscraper was in the way. Now cloudy skies, and a constant mist, were blocking the sun but no skyscrapers.
Toyota Camry and Kia “exciting”??????
Dude, you need to get out more.
Because they were EASY to fix….Because all the high schools had a power mechanic section and kids brought in their cars to upgrade, fix and get graded on it. we had a garage with 5 bays.
———————————————
I used to have a lot of interest in cars. That’s long gone. Very few cars are exciting today.
Let me add Kids today have no interest in traveling either….When was the last time you heard someone wanting to take a cross country trip during summer vacation to Cali,or NooYork…in their car just for the fun of it?
or heck to visit some National Park or see the Grand Canyon?
Skyscrapers blocking the sun on Seattle sidewalks? I remember cloudy skies and a constant mist blocking the sun. But no Seattle skyscrapers blocking the sun.
I’ve been to Seattle a few times. I must confess I never saw the sun once.
Maybe I was in too many pick-up-bars. That must be it.
Infinity is quite a long while.
‘The investigation involves allegedly inflated real estate appraisals and allegedly phony mortgage applications in 2004′
2004; how about that for swift regulatory action?
Not so swift. But, if prosecutions were swift then there would be no time for the statute of limitations to run out. White collar criminals wouldn’t be getting away with as much. This would curb risk taking and ultimately squelch financial innovation.
I live a couple miles from centerpoint condos in Tempe… They are still under construction - although I haven’t seen any activity lately… I wonder what will become of them? Stupid prices and tons of controversy there, the main financier for the project went belly up last year and committed suicide, was a big news story at the time… The project was in bankruptcy the last I heard, with an unpaid 135 million dollar loan.
I wonder what will become of them? Stupid prices and tons of controversy there, the main financier for the project went belly up last year and committed suicide, was a big news story at the time…
Yep. Scott Coles. I remember that.
He’s mentioned in the article Ben just posted today.
That night, Coles dressed in a black tuxedo, surrounded himself with a makeshift shrine to his second wife (who had left him) and chugged down a bunch of oxycodone, Ambien, and booze. Coles’ 15-year-old son found his lifeless body the next day…
A reallllll class act, that guy. Leaves even his nasty messy meat-husk for someone else to discover and clean up after.
There is another travesty-in-the-making at the Landmark Tower in phoenix. They converted cheap highrise apartments into condos, without upgrading any of the actual supporting facilities. Last I heard they are facing a miltimillion dollar a/c repair, water breaks doing damage to whole floors, a broke HOA and HOA fees upwards of 1000$/month for condos now selling from the 20,000’s.
I heard from a resident that more then half of the units are forclosed or not making payments. Ugly stuff…
zillow shows 127 of landmarks 260 or so condo’s currently for sale, although the fallout is likely worse. Even funnier, I think this place breaks the fha’s new 10% rule, so no fha financing for the bigger fool trying to buy in!
tough stuff…..
zillow shows 127 of landmarks 260 or so condo’s currently for sale, although the fallout is likely worse.Even funnier, I think this place breaks the fha’s new 10% rule, so no fha financing for the bigger fool trying to buy in!
Stop, stop, tempy! You’re making my round little green glazzies well up with sympathetic tears…!
Ahahahahahaah! NOT.
They put like lid-locks on my glazzies……
Yes..a black tux, booze, pills and a shrine to a 2nd wife that left him and his son finds the body.
That’s one helluva “Statement” to leave behind for the kid.
That is what demonstrated the utter and complete and colossal selfishness and hubris of this total a*s*sh*at most conclusively to me. This wretch was not worth a tarnished penny at the bottom of a septic tank in Des Moines.
Did he not think of who was gonna find him? After he snu*ffed himself all dorky-style?
‘His second wife left him’, so who’s left to find his body? The housekeeper, the UPS guy, whoever else…oh, yes, that’s right…random kids!
I can not even imagine what his son went through when he came in the bedroom door. I bet his son loved him, even though this guy sure sounds completely worthless to ME.
I bet his son loved him, even though this guy sure sounds completely worthless to ME.
Ditto.
A real man would act like an elderly native American.
Go out in to the wilderness. Take your clothes off. Pray. Kill yourself in an open area as food for the wolves, coyotes, and eagles.
Or do what non locals do and hike up into the mtns w/o any h20, phone, and when it is going to be really hot, or a storm is coming and the temps drop in the mtns to around 30.
Then weeks from now, they find the shriveled up body.
But in the present economy, selling tickets to an implosion may be the only sure way that Centerpoint can recoup any money.
That was an awesome piece, almost Dickensian.
Thank you Ben, and kudos to Ray Stern.
I agree, good stuff today, Ben. Every paragraph is loaded with priceless bits. Like a candy store or widget store for guys.
“‘The scary part,’ he said, ‘is that we’re hoping there will be some pick-up of hiring for the holidays. But we’re just not sure people will be spending.’”
QOTD. In an area with almost 21% unemployment, and they’re “not sure” if people will be spending for the holidays? There’s always some carrot being dangled to give people hope….holiday spending/hiring, record low interest rates, government cheese, green shoots, whatever…..it never ceases to amaze me.
I believe this is the highest unemployment rate in AZ. For some reason, Yuma gets passed over in reporting, but there was a serious bubble there. The last time I drove through, they were still building.
Ben; i was there last weekend. Yes, they’re still building houses and CRE.
“David Hansen has no faith that he’ll see more than a fraction of his original investment. A retired school principal and real estate dabbler from Nevada, Hansen wrote checks for 10 years to Radical Bunny, which in recent years put most of his money — about $1.4 million from his pension plan, personal savings, and 401(k) — into the condo towers.”
NO EFFIN’ WAY. $ 1.4 million into one project ? Holeeeee Cow. Dumb and Dumber. Geeze.
Diversification is for suckers! He had a sure-fire investment opportunity! Once in a lifetime!
They promised 11%. I guess he forget corporations can break their promises.
I can’t believe anyone would write checks to an investment company named “Radical Bunny”. At least Bernie Madoff sounded like a guy who knew what he was doing.
Thiis sounds like a perfect time to announce my new finance investment company, “Supafly Hippopotamus”. I promise 12% returns, honest! Now I just sit back and watch the hundreds of millions roll in….. Right?
“Supafly Hippopotamus”. I promise 12% returns, honest! Now I just sit back and watch the hundreds of millions roll in….. Right?
Well, I’m surely prepared to give you all MY precious money. Because with a snazzy name like that I know you must be a genious or something and that I can trust you implicitly… Right?
At first I was excited to have my first sucker… I mean… Investor… Then I realized oly’s net worth is measured in beer and snickerdoodles.
Upon further introspective thought however, I have decided to accept your beer and snickerdoodles. I mean, WWRBD? (what would radical bunny do?). That is one non conformist four legged forest creature.
Wait, super-smart idea, after our recent chapter 7 (sorry oly, I already liquidated the beer and cookies) we are restructuring under the name “non conformist possibly surfing four legged hoppy forest creature”. Let the good times roll!
Then I realized oly’s net worth is measured in beer and snickerdoodles.
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
hey, I said I was willing to liquidate everything
Snickerdoodles and beer makes for one hell of a hangover though…
Besides, you forgot my considerable assets also include a box of rescued daffodil bulbs, about 213 pairs of barely worn but adorable shoes, and 3.5 feral cats.
Oh, and an ancient accordion with leaky leather billows and missing keys that I got for free a few days ago when I marched up and said ‘What’s that thing? Can I have it?
I’ve always known I was secretly a musician, except I don’t like that tedious ‘practice’ stuff. It harshes my style and the purity of my artistic intent.
I was just now playing with it on my front porch, and the forest was simply alive with exciting and interesting music.
Anyway, tempy, obviously these sorts of assets oughtta put me firmly into ‘preferred shareholder’ territory.
Oooh! I can’t wait to be a billionaire! Think of all the feral cats and daffodil bulbs I can buy then!
….Hey, wait! Dam*mit?! You ALREADY went bankrupt!?
That was fast. Shoots. I guess it’s back to my lovely accordion, only playing sad music this time…
Comment by Temporal
2009-10-17 15:07:55
Snickerdoodles and beer makes for one hell of a hangover though…
Maybe you’re just not doing it right. Because IIIII find it to be a healthful and invigorating combination.
*hiccup *
Snickerdoodles.
That cookie name prompted me to nick-name Fluffy Pumpkin “Flufferdoodle”.
As in, “Flufferdoodle, what are you doing?” whenever I caught him in the act of some mischief.
I knew there was another name besides Fluffy Pumpkin from when you posted an email address for DinOR - I just couldn’t quite remember it!
“.. Shoots. I guess it’s back to my lovely accordion, only playing sad music this time…”
What?
No beer induced Appalachia West Banjo music from you tonight.?
No sad accordion music tonight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4is5ltERXB8
That was fast. Shoots. I guess it’s back to my lovely accordion, only playing sad music this time…
I’ve already got all my money invested with Supafly Rhymenocerous. They return 100% investment-grade fly beats.
But…. My lyrics were bottomless.
I got glows like phosphorus poppin off the top of this esophagus because I’m not a water dwelling mammal drawn to the metropolis to be taught how to breakdance, where did you form that perposterous hypothesis? Did steve tell you that?
or Inner City Sales Consortium Unified Management.
ICSCUM….sounds like a winner.
I know, when I read the print edition of this article on Friday, I laughed out loud about investing in “Radical Bunny” and the tidbits about the premier chef who left his previous restaurant to focus on opening one in Centerpoint. Also, their plan for a “wine aficionado” room versus the drunks and transients who now frequent the place. Arizona is becoming one big lesson in humility.
The only green shoots in this entire article are growing where Dave’s “fertilizer” hit the ground.
Boy, that’s harsh! You’ve got no sympathy for a ‘poor victim’, I can see. Next thing you know, you’ll be laughing.
Like this:
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!
No, it’s
Bwahahah(hic)hahahaha(hic)hahahaha(hic)hahaha….
He recalls a dinner at the Orange Table in Scottsdale a few years ago for investors in Radical Bunny (now also in bankruptcy), when advisers at the company touted the Centerpoint project.
A few years ago for a couple of years we received periodic invitations for a dinner presentation evening at Austin Land and Cattle, a nearby nice steakhouse (not Texas Land and Cattle). It was after a previous few years’ wave of offers to buy our house cash, those always included a footnote inviting infestors too.
I figured it probably had to do with the combination of living in 78704 and being middle-aged. I assumed that the hosts would be selling retirement investment advice, time shares, or Caribbean resort condos.
Now I very much suspect it was for something like Radical Bunny. They wouldn’t want to treat everyone in town to a nice steak dinner, even at Tuesday night group prices. I can imagine them screening tax records for un-mortgaged pre-boom owners in neighborhoods where property values had skyrocketed, cross-checking age in DMV records.
I can just see it - a party room full of middle-aged South Austin bubbas and bubbettes grooving on free ribeye and baked potato and booze, Texas Tornadoes soundtrack. Then Whoop-Ass Hank (a name like Radical Bunny isn’t right for Texas) takes the floor, talking about the hundreds of thousands of dollars of equity in your little bungalow.
And how all the baby boomers in the country - people like you except LOTS RICHER, so much money you just wouldn’t believe - want to come live in Austin. They don’t want to shovel snow surrounded by smokestacks any more. They want to dance at the Broken Spoke and meet Kinky Friedman and hear you reminisce about Armadillo World Headquarters and Willie’s 4th of July parties.
They want to leave the suburbs for a high-rise view of Town Lake, concierge service, and proximity to the Long Center for Performing Arts and Zilker Park, so they can enjoy retirement here in your little corner of paradise. They want to buy condos for their kids too - young creative people want to come to Austin, and what better way than for them to have their own luxury lofts downtown!
What an opportunity - invest in downtown luxury condos at a return of 11%, yes 11%!! No risk - the city backs these projects to the hilt! You’ve heard Mayor Wynn pledge to have 25,000 residents downtown by 2015. Well, we’re helping him do it!
And if you think, why Whoop-Ass, I’m just happy the way I am, in my little house with my pecan trees and lawn furniture; I’m not much for skyscrapers and fancy investing, I’d say to you - think about the kids and grandkids! You’ve always worked hard and your kids are good kids, but you might not be able to bequeath them the kind of legacy you would like. But you can, if you take advantage of this Real Estate market opportunity of a lifetime! You’re ALREADY a winner in the real estate market, make sure your kids get to be winners too!
Funny comment! I live downtown, and I really like. I do not own; I rent, and it’s a much better option for me. Whe. The HOAs are aboit 40 to 50 cents per sq foot, which ends up being hundreds of dollars every month. Although, I have a couple of friends whose parents bought a condo for their kids to go to school at UT; it’s an ‘investment’ instead of ‘wasting’ money in rent.
I assume you rent from an agency. Do you know anything about the owner -individual or investment group? How much of a loss do you reckon the owner takes each month or year? Do you know what the property taxes are?
Is your building fully occupied?
Just curious. I’m not trying to grill you, just trying to get the scoop from a downtown-living HBBer.
The building where I live is almost fully occupied; it’s a rental complex, which is a pretty sweet deal compared to my friends who ‘own’ condos and pay almost as twice as I do (mortage+insurance+taxes+HOA’s), but hey: ‘They aren’t wasting their money in rent’
thx
I fear that may have been scarily-accurate, HiZ!
I fear so too. I always wondered about those invitations. Dinner at a nice white-tablecloth steakhouse seemed like overkill for a sales pitch for condos, timeshares, long-term care insurance or the like.
But it would sure fit the Radical Bunny model.
We’ve got a neighborhood association meeting in a little over a week. There’s always a good turnout of the middle-aged pre-boom owners, so I’ll ask around about those invitations. Someone must have collected their free meal!
I would have voted for Kinky…if they would have accepted my fake mailed in ballot.
meet Kinky Friedman
Seems like the right place to post my latest report on the condition of Pinal County (AZ) RV-park housing. In April of 2008, I posted here saying I had just sold the only AZ lot I actually owned, sold it for a 2006 price. Throughout 2008, I had no problems with the trailer-park residents: one did skip the July 08 payment, but made it up in December, having paid all the Aug-Nov payments when they were due. The 2009 record is even better, no latenesses at all. HOWEVER, the loan demand in 2009 is absolutely zilch. Exactly one new note in AZ, and one cash-out refi in AZ. People have come to realize that the best thing they can do with their money is, get out of debt. I have had a couple of loans completely retired, and several others reduced by large lump sums. I won’t say no transactions are happening, but people came to realize there would be no more appreciation. I have one client who has turned into an accidental LL and a couple of others who are leaving their MHs vacant while awaiting buyers. One moved to (get a load of this) MICHIGAN for a job.
As the AZ loan demand dries up I have to make my $$$ work elsewhere. Believe I have already posted that my Florida flippers are at it again. I have a client in Maine who is about to Trade Up. A possible deal going down in Los Angeles County with some people who can’t qualify for conventional mortgage sources. etc etc
I remain delighted at the AZ pay-downs because the last thing I want is for any of my AZ borrowers to be Under Water. SFSG.
Thanks for the update. I have found your posts very interesting over the years.
“The median home price still is very low, at $140,000.”
Really low you say, Jay? Compared to what? Arizona household incomes? Including the incomes of everyone who is currently unemployed?
“To fulfill his ill-considered plan, he realized he’d need the help of two friends — and they agreed to hold his arms tightly while he hung his butt over the side of the low, concrete wall.”
“‘We were pretty drunk,’ says Dave.”
I assume Dave’s two friends somehow fought off their ill-conceived temptation to let go?
That’s where I thought the story was going. Corpse found, with its pants down, having fallen out of abandoned high-rise. Am I morbid?
I guess it is hard to conduct an interview with a corpse…
Well, I hear you, but the press has been known to make up the facts from time to time.
“That’s where I thought the story was going. Corpse found, with its pants down, having fallen out of abandoned high-rise. Am I morbid?”
If you are, I must be REALLY morbid because I HOPED that was where the story was going. I hate people who litter.