Calling For Housing Bubble Catch Phrases
Readers are looking for new ways to describe the housing bubble. “WE NEED NEW CLICHES!”
“I recently suggested: ….death spiral.
Betamax replied with: I like the term ‘cascade failure,’ but death spiral works too.
I did my best Steve Martin with:
Alternative: Heterodyned Hell Hole?
Technical: Event Horizon?
Literature: Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Death on Denial?
Musical: Highway to HELOC? Saved by Zero?
Political: Giant Sucking Sound?
“There’s a lot more talented people out there. We need more catch phrases.”
Another said, “A name for the category of sellers who refuse to see the obvious fact that nobody wants to pay their ridiculous price:”
‘Not-giving-it-awayers’
“They are adamant that their price is right, and if the agent would just advertise more, they’d probably find the buyer.”
“P.S. I could spend a million dollars on advertising every week, but if the price ain’t right, it isn’t going to sell.”
And another replied, “I’ve been using the term ‘bubble bitch’ instead of FB’er as I feel that the mental image of a underwater borrower with some bankers popsicle buried up his backside for the next 20 years (and every day is another thrust) more fully describes that situation (and it rhymes).”
the spring of our discontent
The Summer of It
The Five Or Six Years Of It
Titanic struck by icebergs and also torpedoed.
and then eaten by sharks…
“The Great Housing Hangover”
Heads of Householes
“Greater Fool Parade”
“Ponzi Scheme Dupes”
“Negative Equity Club”
“Bitter Realtors”
“Underwater Investment Group”
“How I Learned to Love Foreclosure”
“Broken ARMs”
“Surviving Bankruptcy is Easy”
“Debt Serf”
slaughter house
Right now, I see confusion and pricing anomolies…with +/-10% price variation for similar properties; also, there are those idiots that re-list at a HIGHER price after sitting for 3 mos with empty open houses.
Current market confusion will feed back into future market dynamics and ultimately bring down prices.
Perhaps, “Compounding Chaos.”
“The Great Realplosion”….
“slab happy”
…like this poor FB who bought an Old Navy house (quality that lasts for one season!) in Victorville and is desperately seeking a renter.
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/apa/162718475.html
When I came across this listing my first reaction was to chuckle as I imagined the perplexed look on the FB’s face in 18 months when he realizes that despite what his friends and realtors told him, there actually IS risk involved in speculation.
But my lasting reaction is of utter sadness. Scrolling through the pictures in ad…THIS is how homes are built now? I have been reading Ben’s Blog for almost a year, but I still can’t come to grips with the fact that developers are building (and people are consuming) “homes” that are literally built to last 10-15 years. I don’t consider myself a hyper-environmentalist, but this is criminal negligence towards future generations. This house and every one like it will be resting in a landfill in 20 years, seeping chemicals from the wall-to-wall carpeting and particle-board cabinets into our children’s groundwater.
Sad.
Eureka! I’ve got it!
What should be done when all the McMansion subdivisions turn to ghost towns?
PAINTBALL!! Turn them into urban warfare theme parks. Participants could choose to play for one of two teams: The HELOCed freedom fighters or the Jack-Booted Repo Squad.
Excellent idea! Or maybe Blair Witch Project type haunted neighborhoods!
Pretty good! I like it. I’ll be in the team Lowballers Forever.
OK, I read through the entire thread, and I think Cow Cat wins. Let Victorville act as the world’s biggest paintball arena, then blow the entire place up during the filming of Lethal Weapon 5.
That is one of the funniest things I’ve heard all week. I am glad I didn’t have a mouthful of coffee!
One of the sudivisions should be themed ‘Debtors Prison’!
Better yet, the bubble cities could form a televised leagues! Heck, with the way things are going, you really could have a debtors prison ala the movie “Running Man”. Contestants have to make their way through ghostowns of McMansions while escaping Fireball (The market), Captain Freedom (The Fed), Dynamo (specuvestor), Sub-Zero (net-worth) and Buzzsaw (depreciation). If you escape, your debt is forgiven, your ARM is converted and you are given a free hybrid prius! Hell, even Arnhold could oversee the California show!
From the Plot Summary:
“In the year 2017, the world economy has collapsed. The great freedoms of the United States are no longer, as the once great nation has sealed off its borders and become a militarized police state, censoring all film, art, literature, and communications.”
Wow. Talk about dramtic irony.
Those aren’t particle board cabinets. They are in fact European Cabinetry. ha ha ha
Make love not McMansions.
The fall of the great garage-majal
ROFL!
“It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing”.
Howz about…..”Bankruptcy for Dummies”
Condo Con Job
Domestic Debt Bomb
McMansion Armageddon
Flucked Flippers
“THIS is how homes are built now? ”
Pride of ownership:
Your Dream Home Built in the USA by Illegal Aliens — in just 15 days!!
6 month limited warranty at no extra cost!
“slab happy”
…like this poor FB who bought an Old Navy house (quality that lasts for one season!) in Victorville and is desperately seeking a renter.
——————————————————————————
The last time I was in Hesperia (middle of the desert), I almost died of heat prostration not to mention the dust storms.
Charles McMansion
Oh THAT’S good…
Heloc Skelter
“Heloc Skelter” You’ve got my vote!
“Just Say No To Bankruptcy” by Dr. Kevorkian
Oh that was cruel!
Nice! Rename Kevorkian’s book “There is always at least ONE way to close the deal” and put it on the real estate shelf in the big chain bookstores.
How about;
“Terra Tumble”
OR
“Terra Toast”…
What about the old classic “bankruptcy candidate” or afterwards “debt evader, first class.”
Or, “flipped to the loo.”
Ooh! Wait! What about “Scuba borrowers” and “short on air?”
I think the best expression of what will happen is “ripples of doom.”
“flipped to the loo.”
Best one so far…..
“How to Get Your Skis Waxed in Real Estate” by Alan Greenspan
ROTFLMAO. My vote for best of 2006(TM)
“But … wait, why aren’t my skis turning? Aieeeeeee!”
Now is even more the best time to buy.
realty bites
circling the bowl
party with Bill, wake up next to Hillary
got credit? ( on billboard of real estate agents slobbering mucus and blood)
Party with Bill, sleep with George, wake up next to Hillary!
Shoot. Me. Now.
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!
“How I Learned to Love Foreclosure” by Doogie Dumbazz
Financial Fudgepacking
LMAO!!!
I started laughing, and now I’m crying.
Just a question I have…WHAT is an “old navy house” and why is it of poor quality?
your answer was in the post (in parenthesis). An Old Navy house is a house built to last…about one season. Just like the clothes you can buy at America’s favorite clothing retailer.
http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/home.do
Lately I’ve been using “circling the drain,” but I sort of like the notion of the market flushing all those crappy investments.
Victorville is a horrible place to live. That ugly McMansion is toasted and never even had a person live in it.
“Homes for grandmas with 100 cats.”
Death Spiral gets my vote.
Poseiden Adventure without water.
Death by a thousand costs.
Come back Flipper!
Too funny!
Your in front 02….
Bubblelocked.
Have ARM lose LEG.
Had ARM lost LEG.
Have ARM no BRAIN.
The Unbearable Lightness of Owing.
Helocoroids.
Drowning in Equity.
The ‘Haves’ and the ‘Heloced’.
Nighmare on Everystreet.
The Bankers buttboy.
I like NIghtmare on Everystreet.
Buy now and be priced ‘in’ forever.
Puttin’ wood to the ‘hood.
The Great Realty Smackdown.
Coming soon to a theater near you!
The Proctologist’s Real Estate Boom…just relax while I insert this…
Proctologist to Flipper:
“Sir, I’m terribly sorry. Your prostate is growing by 25% per year, and you know as well as I do that prostates only expand. Remove it now, or in 20 years it will be
3″ x 1.25^20= 260.2″ in diameter
You won’t be able to afford a 260.2″ diameter prostate, sir. Let’s take it out now while it can still be removed through a small incision.”
To buy or not to buy…that is not a question.
Buy land ’cause they aint making it (this expensive) anymore.
Defrocking the Priests of the Temple of Ever-Rising Prices; or
This Little Freddie Had A Market; or
The Triumph of Reason; or
Revenge of the Rational.
Wanted…
Greater Fool, must be greedy, no experience necessary.
Need a loan? No problem! We can Help!
Toxic ARM 100year sub-prime loans available (but for a short time only).
Remember to ask about our ‘pass it on to the kids’ option.
Get house or die trying.
A movie, popcorn and drinks for two, “$30″. A new Plasma TV to watch movies at home, “$4,000″. Paying for a new home in the 21st century, “Priceless”.
Watch this bubble crash brings a new meaning to the term:
“Home Theatre”
Inventory Tsunami
Taken for Granite
Homebound
ARMed to the teeth
All the Loanly People
ParaNormal
Gentle Catastrophy
Helocane
“Taken for Granite” - good.
I agree, super!
Waiting lounge of the damned.
Impacted Inventory
Fannie’s in for a little buttkicking
Subprime Shipwreck
Seller will entertain offers. (period)
cul-de-sacked
“Seller will entertain offers.”
You want an offer, huh? Dance, seller boy, dance!
Seller will entertain for offers.
Death to the Squirrels
You murder those squirrels, I’ll buy the house.
But you can’t just murder them, because I want to be sure those are MY squirrels. You must bring their warm little bodies to the closing. I might decide to grill them for my friends.
NOTE: for newer readers who are horrified at this macabre humor, it is in direct reference to the most absurd moment, to me, of the housing bubble, about a year ago — a seller, I think in the San Francisco area, told the multitude of desperate bidders for her property that the lucky buyer must promise in writing to feed the squirrels that inhabited the property.
At one point I was trying to popularize the term “squirrel feeder” for those who bought at the top of th market.
F*@&’d Fan
of
Su-zanne
Again, an historical reference, but much more current.
But, Suzanne did her research. She says being an escort is the obvious thing to do. If you don’t bend over and be an escort, you’ll never have a chance to be an escort.
I wanted to get rich, and all I got is this stupid condo.
That should be a bumper sticker.
The bumper sticker I want is “loose money now, ask me how” with a realtor symbol
Less Than Zero
Honey I Sunk the Kids
HELOC VAPORLOCK
Refi Madness
and the new reality TV series; from the creaters of Flip This House, comes “Torch this House (for the insurance)”
Refi Madness …
Uh, whah? Whaddr’ u sayin’, dude? Whatever … My broker said I could rent .. I mean buy … and I could sell for a billion next year. Real *Hiccup* Estate is the ticket, buddy! I got three Condos in Palm Beach *Cough*
one more;
ARMageddon - Brace for Impact
(thank you, I’ll be here all week)
Good one. Just a bumper sticker that says your “ARMageddon.”
Outstanding!
Nouveau Wretch
Fiscal Gumby’s
HomeBoners
OOPSS - Oblivious, Obnoxious, Pompous, Speculator Suckers
SHOE - Spent Heloc on Escalade
Unhappy Kool Aid Kampers
Lerah’s Liars
Karmic Losers
Real Estate Infestors
Toxic Sellers
Bubble Bait
For Clothes Whore
Homeless and Unenjoyed
IO IO, it’s off to debt we go …
Greedy, lazy, good for nuthin, swindling, lying sacks O shit.
Condo Rats
and the sound of the IO buyer is …
me, me, Me, Me, ME, ME, ME, My, My, my, my, oh, …., my, buy?
Unrealty and how to avoid situational awareness in contemporary society.
There’s no place like home, and home, and home.
Dear IRS: Home, home, home, and home are all my primary residences. I swear. Honest.
Necrotizing Helocititis:
An insidious ARM infection causing rapid equity necrosis.
“McDebt”
“McDebtor”
“Helloced”
Foundations in the sand.
FSFB “For Sale By F’dB”