by NYCityBoy
In this first ever installment of The Aspirin Report we take a look at the headlines of the week, from our good buddies in the financial press. The headlines are often so simplistic, confusing and delusional that they will give you a whopper of a headache. That headache will require excessive amounts of aspirin to provide any relief. I can’t help with the headache. I’m just here to provide the headlines and make a few well placed comments.
The stock market had a week that has looked so familiar the past 6 months. On Monday the world looked like it was coming to an end and markets across the globe were down hard. By Tuesday all of the world’s problems had been solved and stocks started back up for the rest of the week. Lazarus couldn’t have hoped for better rise from the dead. The comeback was miraculous, to say the least. Who would have guessed that such a week could take place on an options expiration week? Surely, not me.
It was good to see AIG doing so well. I love when strong, well run, independent companies perform well. The madman, I mean CEO, now at the helm sure had some interesting comments this week. He made sure to chastise the very government that paid $185 billion to bail this monstrosity out and launder money to its counter-parties throughout the world. It was nice to see such a high level of gratitude for the suicidal tendencies of another madman by the name of Paulson. I think it’s more of a homicide since these guys are still busy trying to strangle the life out of The United States of America. Nothing is too good for the psychotics running the financial machine. Thank god we flushed all that money over to them or “they system would have crashed”. Thank you, Mr. Bernanke for saving us. I am forever in your debt. Literally!
I was especially happy to see the price of oil rise. This did great things for the stock market as oil recovered above $74 per barrel. That is a high for the year, by the way. My motto is, “there is nothing better for an economy than high energy and high housing costs”. The more people are forced to spend on the basic needs of energy and housing the better off the economy is. I was hoping we would see some confirmation that food prices were also shooting through the roof. Then the stock market could have really soared. If I see a $32 cantaloupe at the grocery store I will know that it is time to buy all of the world’s stock indexes. If the price of ground beef reaches $12 per pound I will certainly go “all in”. Let the good times roll. Let’s all do the Charleston. The roaring 20s are back. Or is it the go-go 80s? I forget. All hail the “strong dollar” policy of Little Timmy.
I hope you enjoy looking at this sampling of headlines. You might need to pour yourself a stiff drink before you take it all in. You will definitely want to have a large bottle of those Bayer aspirin handy when you read through the events of the week. I have a headache just thinking about it.
Monday, August 17, 2009 (The stock market fell 2%)
-Obama’s latest move satisfies neither side on health care; liberals want ‘government option’
-With banks limiting the availability of auto, student and other consumer loans, the Federal Reserve said Monday it would extend a program intended to help spur more lending at low rates.
-American International Group Inc.’s new CEO will be paid a yearly salary worth $7 million and could earn millions more in performance-based incentives, the bailed-out insurance giant said Monday.
-No. 2 home-improvement retailer Lowe’s Cos. on Monday said second-quarter earnings fell 19 percent on weaker-than-expected sales, adding fresh fuel to doubts about the ability and willingness of consumers to lead the U.S. economy out of recession.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009 (The stock market rose 1%)
- Construction of new U.S. homes dipped slightly last month, missing expectations, in a sign that the building industry’s recovery from the housing bust is likely to be bumpy and gradual.
-Home Depot 2Q profit beats expectations — Home Depot Inc. said Tuesday that its fiscal second-quarter profit fell 7 percent, as the nation’s biggest home-improvement retailer shuttered its Expo business and continued to be pinched by the recession.
- Target says its second-quarter profit fell 6.3 percent, but results surpassed Wall Street forecasts amid cost-cutting initiatives and improvements in its credit-card business.
- Wholesale prices dropped sharply in July, and over the past 12 months fell by the largest amount in more than six decades of record-keeping.
- General Motors Co. will announce increased hours at several factories due to rising sales from the government’s Cash for Clunkers program.
-Construction of single-family U.S. homes rose 1.7 percent in July, the fifth-straight monthly increase as builders poured foundations at the fastest pace since last October, the Commerce Department said Tuesday.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 (The stock market rose .7%)
-Pessimism about the economy reasserted itself in financial markets Wednesday, with U.S. stocks looking to fall at the opening. Treasury prices rose as investors looked for a safe place for their money.
-Farm equipment maker Deere & Co. says its fiscal third-quarter profit fell 27 percent as the global recession continued to depress sales of its products. But the results easily beat Wall Street expectations.
-Hewlett-Packard Co.’s 19 percent drop in quarterly profit shows that the company still relies heavily on printer ink and the troubled personal computer market
-The SEC Moves Closer to Limiting Shorts
-BJ’s Wholesale Club 2nd-quarter profit slips but beats estimates; sales fall with gas prices
-U.S. mortgage applications rose last week, largely reflecting a jump in demand for home refinancing loans as interest rates slid to a five-week low
-Even though the Fed suggested last week that the economy had bottomed out and is poised to start growing again, the central bank has yet to lay out details of its so-called “exit strategy”
-The stock market shook off early losses Wednesday and turned higher, led by a surge in energy stocks amid signs that demand for oil may be rising.
Thursday, August 20, 2009 (The stock market rose .75%)
-Sears Holding Corp (NasdaqGS:SHLD - News) reported a quarterly loss on Thursday as the retailer continues to suffer from the crash of the U.S. housing market.
-The White House plans to announce the federal deficit will be about $262 billion less than officials predicted earlier this year, but it still will total a massive $1.58 trillion and pose a tremendous obstacle for a president seeking policy overhauls in health care and the environment.
-Oil prices spiked Wednesday after the government reported a huge draw of crude oil from U.S. stockpiles.
-The Obama administration is looking hard at pushing through a health-care reform bill without Republican backing, top Democrats close to the White House have told CNN.
-The number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless benefits unexpectedly rose last week, a government report showed on Thursday, fanning worries of an anemic recovery from the worst recession in 70 years
-The Obama administration is developing plans to wind down the popular Cash for Clunkers program and could announce by Friday when the incentives will no longer be available
-Bernanke, a Hero to His Own, Can’t Shake Critics
-More than 13 percent of American homeowners with a mortgage are either behind on their payments or in foreclosure as the recession throws more people out of work, the Mortgage Bankers Association said Thursday
-An index of economic indicators rose in July for a fourth straight month, in another sign that the recession is bottoming, said a report released Thursday
Friday, August 21, 2009 (The stock market rose 1.7%)
- Penny-pinching Americans are getting cold feet at the checkout — thinking twice about spending and ditching items before they’re rung up
-J.M. Smucker Co., maker of jams, jellies and Jif peanut butter, said Friday its fiscal first-quarter profit more than doubled, mostly on increased sales from last year’s Folgers acquisition
-Oil touched a high for this year above $73 a barrel on Friday ahead of further pointers on the economic health of the United States and as the dollar flagged against a stronger euro
-U.S. sales of existing homes likely rose to their highest level in 10 months in July, according to a Reuters poll, as buyers rushed to take advantage of a tax credit for first-time homeowners
-”Totally Absurd”: AIG Shares Soar on New CEO’s Bold Claims
-European stock markets and Wall Street futures rose Friday after another advance in China and ahead of key comments from U.S. Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke
-Sales of previously owned U.S. homes in July notched their fastest pace in nearly two years, an industry survey showed Friday, the strongest sign yet that housing was pulling out of a three-year slump.
-Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke declared Friday that the U.S. economy is on the verge of a long-awaited recovery after enduring a brutal recession and the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression
It was great to see the week end on such a high note. The stock markets around the world soared. The Dow, NASDAQ and S&P were on fire. The financials continue to kick some serious rump. That should really help out the little guy that either never had any stock or has cashed out his 401k. I am sure it wasn’t just meant to allow more theft by our economic masters. That would be too cynical. It could not be so.
My favorite little apparatchik Bernanke came out and said the recession is over. Whew! That is such a relief. I was thinking of this great news when I went out at lunchtime to get my Reuben sandwich. All of those empty storefronts, and businesses that have no customers, should be relieved to know that it is all done. The Federal Reserve (a privately owned bank) has fixed all of the problems. You know the problems to which I refer. They are the problems that The Fed (a private bank) created in the first place. That should bring great joys to hurting business owners, their employees, their customers and their landlords.
Everything is good now that we have thrown trillions of dollars at the problems. All of those $8,000 tax breaks were just what we needed to get the low-end of the housing market going. I hear it got the high-end of the housing market going, too. That sure is good to know.
The Bay Area and The Hamptons should have strengthening housing markets, too. Their little bailout is much more than $8,000 per house. In this trickle down world of ours the wolves at the top get the real quality cuts of meat. They get the filet mignon. I love when the super-rich get bailed out. Bailouts shouldn’t just be for the little guy. It makes me think of the joyous goal of “equality” that those French revolutionaries were fighting for. My mind also drifts back to my visit last year to the Place de la Concorde and the events of a couple hundred years ago that took place in that space. Somehow the thoughts of that place make me nostalgic. I don’t know why that is.
Farewell to Cash for Clunkers. I am certain we will meet again. Our government loves to steal from future generations to fund current over-consumption.
Monday begins a new week. I can’t wait to see all of the bubbly headlines and the continuation of the stock market rally. The tales of a booming housing market will warm my heart. I won’t worry at all about the trillions and trillions and trillions of dollars of debt that our economy is saddled with. That is just negative thinking and I am no longer going to be the “negative” guy. I’m going to join all of the rest of the mindless drones and just repeat every lie that I hear from those media fellows and our government officials. I have learned to love the bomb (and the bombers). Oh, god, how I need an aspirin.
Have a great weekend!
NYCityBoy
